May 12, 2009

Since I cannot quite blog yet, as I do not have the programs I need for it on
this computer, I will post here and then transfer them over to the proper spot
when I am able.

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I have had a secret I have been busting at the seams to tell for months and have
waited until now. After all that has happened in the last while, I will be so
happy to go to the doctors later this week to make sure everything is still ok,
but if all continues to go well, my little 'homesteader' will be born this
Autumn. I am a little over four months pregnant. My jeans no longer zip together
:o)

Even though I am going to be a single mother, I am very happy to finally be
having a child of my own. Sometimes wishes do not come about in the way we
thought they would. I thought I was in a stable relationship, but evidently not.
My ex does not want anything to do with the baby we planned on either and that
is ok with me. Mine all mine.

In the middle of all the chaos happening, I was still having to travel to
Vancouver for special tests and had to stay in another town for other special
doctors appointments. So far everything is looking great with baby. While I was
living in the vehicle/tent, I did actually have my knitting needles with me and
I knit a couple pair of socks for the baby. I think they are retty cute. (I will
have directions for them and pics when I have my real blog back.)

There are decisions to be made, hard decisions of whether to stay in Canada or
after 7 years, leave my home and farm and move back to Oregon where my baby will
be around family, since all we will have in Canada is each other (and friends).
There are major pro's and con's for both decisions. I have been looking at
different areas down in the States for a home and found a couple possibilties. I
keep trying to con myself that there is so much learning culture down there VS
here, and fresher organic foods, longer growing season, and the ocean close by,
but here is where I really want to raise a child. I can raise food pretty much
anywhere, but will not likely have 40 acres down there due to land expense, more
like 2. but like I have said in the past, you can pretty much homestead
anywhere, it is a state of mind. This will be the first child born into my
family for 40 years. My family is ecstatic and would love to have us nearby.

Yeah, it is a challenge to be pregnant and run a farm by yourself with no farm
machinery. Theoretically I am in a high risk pregnancy from my age (42), having
a previous miscarriage of twins last September and this pregnancy was actually
twins, one of which I lost March 17th and ended up in the ER for 7 hours. I am
actually not supposed to even work, but I have to do what I have to do. Chores
at the farm here are taking longer than it would normally take me, as I make
sure I am not lifting what I normally would lift. I take a break when I am
overheating, my heart rate gets high or I am tired. I use my truck to haul wood
from the woodshed down instead of by hand or a wheelbarrow. I have to ask my
doctor if I can safely rototill the garden. I have been working in the
greenhouse when it is cooler in the mornings. I have 70+ tomatoes and at least
that many peppers as well as herbs to get in.

Think I will leave my dog sled behind if I leave Canada? Ha! Think again. I have
mountains with snow on them down there. Baby will probably be running a (single
dog) dogsled with me by the time s/he is 3 (with a helmet of course). *L* I
won't have my full team, but I can do alot with 1-3 dogs, I just have to run
more. My horse will also probably go to Oregon and "Blossom" my dairy heifer
will have to stay in Canada, but there is a nice family who REALLY wants her as
a pet, as she is so gentle and 'doglike'. When I walked the fencelines the other
day to check for downed trees, she followed me wanting to be petted the whole
time.

I will continue the magazine no matter what and I know I am so far behind and
owe so many people issues. I will make good with you all. My ex almost kept the
printing press and although he finally gave it back, he kept all the cords and
$4,200 of the ink I require to actually print anything. I am working on that
issue.

I am so looking forward to gardening with this child of mine and although in the
beginning s/he will be more likely to be eating more dirt than anything, I look
to the future where we can walk barefoot together between the vegetable rows,
pulling up carrots or something equally delicious for our dinner.