May 14, 2009

Since I cannot quite blog yet, as I do not have the programs I need for it on
this computer, I will post here and then transfer them over to the proper spot
when I am able.

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I went to my much anticipated doctor's appointment today. It was nothing
exceptional other than routine, but I let my one doctor (I have two) know what
has been going on and she is as glad as the rest of us that I am a single mom
now too. The weird numbess in my left leg will go away, she said it is just due
to deep tissue trauma.. which in a weird way I am glad of, as it meant it was
not nerve damage per se which I had been worried about.

The GREAT part and why I really wanted to go was to hear if the baby was ok and
still had a heartbeat as I cannot hear it with my stethoscope yet (probably not
for 4 more weeks) and can't feel anything, as well as not 'feeling pregnant'. So
I have NO IDEA what is happening in there really. Besides all the KICKING we
heard on the doplar, its heart rate was 154. (Average is about 140). I am happy
again. She said babies are resilient and mine is really wiggly as she had to
chase it all over the place with the doplar.

When I got back home again, I noted that the dandelions were blooming at home
now for the first time this year and I have bud break on the willows which was
also new since this morning. However it is supposed to be down to 2C tonight
which is just above freezing. This morning it was 1C.

I had asparagus from my garden for dinner with bratwurst last night and homemade
coconut ice cream for dessert. Tonight is fresh corn on the cob, cheese bisquits
and maybe a pork chop from my last years pig.

My doctor cleared me to be able to rototill and assured me baby would not get
'shaken baby syndrome' in utero. She just said if I get tired, to stop for
awhile.

I packed some wood down to the house and noted it will indeed be a fire in the
ole' hearth tonight again. I am doing a couple loads of laundry and will hang it
on racks next to the woodstove.

On my drive I was going over all the pro's and con's of moving back to Oregon
and trying to psych myself into it. I think it is probably going to be a reality
in time. I thought I had been here 7 years, but actually June 1st, I will have
been here 8 years. My heart is in Canada... I am in love with the land and the
people. Then I was asking myself.. "Well, when you die, where do you want to be
placed at?" And I replied to myself, "I really don't care!".... Ok.. so no help
there..

When I was down at mom's, the fruit trees were blossoming and that longer
growing season which I grew up with DOES entice me.. no lies there, but
apparently I like the challenge here too.

I love the clean air here. When I was in the Willamette Valley, all I could
smell was chemicals.. NO JOKE... herbicides and pesticides on the landscaping
plants and on the hay fields. My family couldn't tell as they are too used to
it. I made the mistake of using some carpet stain remover my mom recommended
(against my better judgement) and I can STILL smell the chemicals in the house a
week later every time I walk in the door. That is how FEW chemicals I use here
due to making homemade household cleansers.

Ahhh.. decisions.. decisions.. it will be interesting to see what path I take..